There’s a lot of things I wanna know.
One thing that consistently stands out is; am I doing this right? On the right track? Killing it or…?
We all want to know. I think you’d be lying if you said you truly got off to living life like it’s one giant shot in the dark. We crave knowing.
My love language happens to be words of affirmations… I like to hear it out of people’s mouths that I’m doing a good job. I know how much it takes to muster up a compliment these days, so I find some sort of sick satisfaction with affirming words. BUT that also sort of sets me up to fail more often than not… because what if I don’t hear words? What if no one says anything at all? Then I’m left wondering and my mind is left to fill in the blanks with assumptions.
So what if there was a better way? Where we could know if we’re killing it without the confirmation of others? A sort of litmus test to keep us out of our heads about our progress and focused on what really matters; making progress.
Here’s 5 ways to know if you’re killing it (or not):
1. Are you sleeping well?
Sleeping well does not equate to sleeping a lot. It means falling asleep with ease, sleeping hard and waking up in the morning feeling ready to tackle the day with maybe a dash of drowsiness within the first hour or so (stop saying you’re tired. you’re not tired. you’re alive and overflowing with energy.)
Sleep matters to your progress in whichever area of your life you’re currently concerned about because… point to an area of your life that does not effect your sleep? It is a great way to determine how you’re doing in really, any area of life.
2. If you had to run one full mile, could you?
Please don’t misunderstand me, running one mile is difficult. I’ve ran two half marathons, a 10k, multiple 5k’s and a million miles in-between and I often times have a hard time running just one mile. But that’s why this gem made the list. I’ve found that when I have a hard time running one mile, when I know that I can run several more, its because something is off.
It’s usually my mind but sometimes it’s my diet. Sometimes it’s a belief that I’ve suckered myself into believing. Sometimes it’s when I feel like I’m failing at life. I find myself feeling “too heavy” to run. Not in an “I’m fat” sense, but in a “my legs feel like they’re full of sand” heavy.
When you’re killing it – you feel light. There is no doubt about it and I believe everyone’s felt the feeling I’m referring to at one point or another. Maybe even just for a moment, you felt in your sweet spot; gliding through life like a f*cking gazelle. That’s what lightness feels like.
When you feel light – running one mile seems like an easy task. Some people couldn’t even run a mental mile. They’d dismiss the thought of running one mile before even trying. Even if you’re not a regular runner (or a runner at all), the lightness in your body, heart and mind that results from killing it in life literally carries you through one mile. Your resistance to running one mile can be a symptom of not feeling like you’re killing it in life.
3. Are you annoyingly aware of what people are saying/thinking about you?
When we feel like we aren’t killing it, the self-conscious switch turns on in our brains and we seem to just soak up the vibes of other people. Not only do we soak them up like a sponge, but we assume their words, body language and facial expressions are all out to get US. Dirty sink sponge.
We think people are judging us, we think people are talking about us, we think so-and-so hates us and everyone in the world can see just how far behind we are in life.
While the likelihood of that all being true is minimal, it feels very real in our heads. The thing is, we wouldn’t mind people talking about us if we were confident that the context of their conversation was good things. So – could it be that when we are hypersensitive to the opinions of others, we are really subconsciously aware that we aren’t killing it?
4. Are you finding yourself booked but satisfied?
There’s two different kinds of “I have no time.”
I’ve dabbled in both.
There’s the “I have no time” because I’m bogged down with other people’s duties, tasks, wants, needs, desires, opinions, schedules and more importantly dreams. Other people’s dreams.
You can’t possibly feel like you have time for things YOU want to accomplish (like the gym or time with friends or starting that project) when you’re booked up making other people’s lives happen!
Are you making other peoples lives happen? Are you finding yourself saying “I don’t have time” in a negative connotation because you feel some discontent with how you’ve filled your time these days?
Then you’re not killing it.
There’s another kind of “I don’t have time.” This kind is much better.
You love that you’re busy. You buzz around like a hummingbird. Flying from one appointment to another; from one task to another; from hour to hour like a seamless ballet. You hustle all day long, yet you feel full not drained. You love it because it’s your own. You feel in control and you have the confidence in the back of your head that if at any point this crazy schedule makes you unhappy, you’d change it.
The difference is a very obvious dead-giveaway.
5. Your dialogue changes.
This, for me, is how I can tell if I’m killing it or not. I’ve learned that whatever is in my heart has a way of spilling out of my mouth.
When I’m unhappy – people know about it.
Not to sound like a brat, but it’s just true. Think about it… when you’re not content about something (ANYTHING) it slips out of your mouth even though your 2019 resolution is to stop complaining. You start to mention it casually in conversation. Then it becomes the topic of the conversation. Then people want to stop having conversations with you because they’re bored of you complaining.
Listen to the words that come out of your mouth. How do you talk about your job? Your spouse? Your kids? Your side hustle? Your weight? Your health? Your faith? Your finances?
Changing your dialogue and adopting affirmations is one thing… but when you’re not even consciously aware of the dialogue that you’re currently using to describe your life – is a problem.
Over these next few days (sounds like homework) become ridiculously aware of how you talk about everything in your life. Or how you WANT to talk about it. What WOULD you say if you knew the person listening was just listening and not judging? What would you complain about?
Your heart really does overflow and spill out of your mouth. You just have to let your ears perk up and listen to it.
Anytime I’ve found myself consistently speaking negative about some aspect of my life, it was shortly thereafter followed by change. Because who has time for things that provoke negative conversation (with ourselves or others)?
If you’re saying things like “ugh, another day at work.” then you’re NOT killing it and you need to find a new job. Or you need to consider an after work hustle or hobby that will make you forget about the misery of said job.
If you find yourself referring to your boyfriend like you would a child, dog, ass hat, loser on the street, or any combination of the above – then you’re NOT killing it and you need yourself a new man. You wouldn’t believe how many people refer to their spouse in a (really) negative light. It’s kind of silly because what you say about your spouse is a direct reflection of yourself. This talk is loud and it sticks out like a sore thumb.
Listen to yourself. You know whether you’re killing it or not. Where you’re killing it and where you could maybe use some work. Whether you’re at peace or not.
You don’t need someone else to tell you – you tell yourself all day long! You’re just not listening close enough. None of us are perfect, but we certainly know ourselves better than we think we do. We just have to know where and how to see where we’re struggling so that, if we want to, we can make course corrections.
I challenge you to dig deep within yourself to know how you’re doing in life. There’s no need for the affirmations of others when you have that deep confidence that you’re content with every area of your life. Besides, who cares if other people think you’re killing it or not?